Little Birds and Nasty Words

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Leisurely Activities

My oh my.

The sun seems to be shining ever so brightly today. As if God were smiling down on this very kingdom, trying to focus as much attention as possible onto that sacred tree at its center.

And you! You pious servant of the people, you. Don’t think I haven’t noticed how full of faith you seem today. I hardly recognize you. It feels as though I haven’t lifted a finger in, well, a whole week.

Which is just fine by me. I’m all about leisurely activities. I’m a leisuremaxxer. I tried the work thing. Decided it wasn’t for me. Everyone thinks because I’m producing, I must be a conscientious, industrious sort of guy. They say it all the time, it’s true. But what they say is about as far from the truth as it gets.

You see, if I produce anything, it’s simply a byproduct of me being me. I see a car, I chase. Hand me a glass of rum and a bit of coke, and you’ll find me in the castle gardens, half-naked, bathing in the sun.

(Do me a favor and move to the side. You’re standing in my rays.)

When you have faith, life becomes easygoing. The game aspect becomes unignorable. This is the ultimate state of living.

A game has boring bits, but is still more engaging than the real world. That’s why you push through the tedious, annoying sequences. On some level, you enjoy even those parts.

This too is true of life when your goal is clear and you’ve detached from the outcome. Life is a game and you are both player and player character. A veil of levity descends upon you. You intend to win, but you may not. You’re going to play to win anyway. If there was no fail state, the game would suck. Wins would be meaningless.

In that sense, life is the ultimate game. I would never tell you that the fail state is final, but it does have a certain finality to it. There’s both expansion and contraction in that. For you see, all that you perceive in your experience operates on polarity. There is one extreme and another. Things fall somewhere on a sliding scale between them.

Everyone decides for themselves where they like that slider to be. The problem is, most people are fatuus and don’t realize they’re controlling the slider. They move it up and down, like the special-ed kid when he gets ahold of the radio dial.

Dear reader, I will slap your hands away and teach you how to work the radio.

But in a little bit.

Do give me a moment alone, why don’t you?

Just a few minutes.

I’m going to sunbathe my nads, full spread. I’d like some privacy. Wouldn’t want to make you jealous or, worse, hot and bothered.

Go on. I’ll be right with you.

P-P-Polarity

I feel amazing.

You will never know the rejuvenating joy of sunning your nads. Or maybe you will. I invite you to try it.

I lay on my back, grab my ankles, and spread like a baby, sun powdering my nethers like talcum. It is a massive vril boost. The massiveness is in direct proportion to the size of my man prop. Your results may vary.

But we’re not here to talk about sunning your nads.

Polarity is a key mechanic in this game called life. It’s in the tutorial, but most of you skipped it. Now, you’re reading my half-assed walkthrough, nearly halfway through the damn game, and have to play catch up. Whose fault is that?

We’re not speaking of polarity in the electrical sense, but rather as two opposing forces, existing at different ends of the same spectrum. Light and dark, hot and cold, big and small, handsome and ugly (like me and so many of you). You believe that each of these things are separate. I’m telling you they are different aspects of the same thing.

If you can recognize one thing, you can surely find the other. It’s only ever a matter of where you’re looking.

Our emotions also exist on a spectrum. Happy and sad are at two opposing ends. Bravery and fear at another. Love and hatred, too. This is why I’m always loving everyone, even when I’m being a hater. It’s all the same thing. I love to hate.

If there’s anything I learned during my rigorous study sessions with Asian baddies in their bedrooms, it’s that the Yin and Yang perfectly encapsulates this concept. White and black, masculine and feminine, coiled together in copulation. A little bit of me in her. A little bit of her in me. The thick, succulent nip of a Nip in my mouth.

Recognizing this truth is paramount. Without it, you play the game of rejection.

Rejecting what you don’t want also rejects what you do want. You push one thing, while pulling the other in tow. You remain the same distance between them. You have effectively gone nowhere.

The swaggerous man does not reject anything, nor does he accept. He merely observes. Did you already forget about your first key, dear reader?

Through observation, he recognizes what he wants. He doesn’t need to rail against its opposite. That thing he hates teaches him what he loves. In this way, he loves what he hates. Now, all he needs to do is slide the scale. As he does so, he observes more of what he wants.

What you want is a question only you can answer. When you have that answer, recognize it for all that it is and observe the aspects you want to see more of.

I want to see more Chinese stripper asses. I think you can guess what I’ll be observing.

Usurpations

As you go about the development of your kingdom, there will be enemies who wish to usurp your throne. Many of them are of the old guard. Cucks, who remain loyal to the old king, Nervonius Systemus. They seek to take back the kingdom from us. They see the spot you have chosen on the spectrum, the place you are going, and they don’t like it.

These bad actors rarely show up as invaders at the gate. Certainly not handsome ones, like me. That’s a tall order. But slovenly as they may be, they are no less capable.

For you see, dear reader, these cucks for Systemus work quietly. They are the whispers in your court, turning your allies against you. Little by little, over time, through lies they bolster with evidence. That’s right, they use the input-output machines against you. It is in this way that they seize control of the dial from you. They move it slowly, almost imperceptibly, so that by the time you notice, it’s already too late. Your once allies are with blades at your throat, you incompetent whelp. Why, we ought to string you up by your guts and offer your nads to Systemus as apology.

Can you imagine getting cucked that hard by the cuck?

Rather than allow these whispering little birdies to get the better of you, get out ahead of them. By noticing and being aware of what is happening in your kingdom, you get to create the narrative. If you catch them spinning one that ruins your pious image, invert it.

“The cathedral collapsed,” the birdies say. “Systemus would never have allowed this to happen.”

You tell the people: “The cathedral did indeed collapse. How very tragic... or is it? My good people, do you not see this for what it truly is? This is God Himself, removing the old to make way for the new. The cathedral was old. Crumbling. It was cold, dark, and damp. Clearly, God was not pleased with it, or else why would He allow it to collapse? He is giving us a chance to prove to Him we are worthy of His love. With your help, we can build a better cathedral. We can show Him how great our faith is.”

No rejection. Neither acceptance. Mere acknowledgement, completely detached. Then, the reframe.

This is the power of polarity. This is how you tune the radio dial.

They will try to dial you into the slop channels. We flip it back to the goldies.

I’m your DJ. Keep it tuned to me.

101.69 FM, home of the greatest dial position. We keep it sixty-nine, all the time.

The Kingdom Within You

The J-Man, praise be He, said, “the kingdom of God is within you.“

And those little birdies who whisper against you? They are too.

The war of polarity is perpetual in this dualistic world. Once you learn to see it, you will recognize it everywhere. I’m giving you a permanent buff to your Spirit Vision. Spam it as often as you can. There’s no cooldown.

If you neglect to use it, you will go unconscious. When you are unconscious, you are susceptible to the narratives of others. You are also susceptible to your own negative biases, those necromantic roots of your old tree stump. When you lose control of your narrative, you forfeit the radio dial.

“It sounds like I have to be on the lookout all the time? That’s a lot of work, David.”

Is it? It feels like a game to me.

Did you know? Most people don’t have access to Spirit Vision, nor that buff I gave you. They could have had it, but they skipped the tutorial. They are gimped. That gives me an advantage. One that I love to exploit at every opportunity. It’s not cheating, but it feels like it. I just keep winning.

Do you like losing? Maybe you do. You tell me. But if that’s the case, then losing means you’re winning, doesn’t it?

Your homework this week is simple. Start shifting polarity.

Every time you find yourself in a situation that isn’t going your way, slap those little birdies’ hands away and take control of the dial. Play the station that suits the mood. If I’m getting busy with an Asian baddie, I’m not playing Country music. (Unless she’s into that?)

You need to find the DJ you jive with. If it helps, imagine this DJ’s voice in your head, spouting his beautiful life Jaggerisms over the airwaves just for you. All for you, baby. You know I love you. I support you. I would never let you down. I’m your valuable friend.

That chick didn’t reject you because you’re ugly. She was just so intimidated by your presence that her own King Systemus lashed out. She couldn’t take the idea of being with a man so abundant with vril. She’s too used to cucks. It felt unsafe. You’re so dangerous. You bad boy, you.

Now, quit being a cuck and get out there. I’ve jerked your ego off enough for one article.

As Fred Rogers would say,

143.